Thank You

I wish I had the time to express to so many people how much they meant to me in the month that followed Lachlan's birth.
The family and friends that came and visited with me,
held Lachlan, prayed for him, prayed for me, brought us food, hugged my neck, told me he was beautiful, sent me scripture, sent me encouragement, wiped my tears...
I hope you know who you are.
I thank God for you, you blessed me in ways I couldn't have ever previously imagined.
I love each and every one of you.
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for caring. Thank you for making me feel so supported.
I have never felt so love from so many people in all my life...

This may take me forever....

But I still want to post about it b/c it may be the only way I ever get around to documenting it...

**some of these pics may be kinda rough, or at least they are to me**

Okay, so sweet Lachlan was transported to the Children's Hospital and big daddy went with him. He was there alone, with his little bitty only-hours-old baby boy when he was told that Lachlan was diagnosed with down syndrome....

I wish I could prevent this from happening to anyone else in the entire world.


Seriously


I don't know how else to describe the emotions except to say that it broke my heart into a million different pieces. Mainly for Lachlan. And if I could change just one very small part of this story, it would be for me to be there with John when he received the news.

So there I was at UAMS, being bothered by nurses wanting me to potty or move my legs, or do some other menial task, while my best friend and new baby boy are suffering. Ugh.
.............................................
Sydney came and sat with me, talked with me, gave me other things to think about and my Mom got in town that afternoon.
That evening we were told that Lachlan would need surgery on his tummy. He had a duodenal stenosis, which meant there was a narrowing in his duodenum (or part of his stomach) that needed to be fixed for food to get through efficiently. He was also born with a few very minor heart issues. I couldn't even explain those to you if you asked...John knows what they are, and I trust him to let me know if/when I need to worry about them. For now, his heart works properly.
(that probably sounds bad, but they are complicated to my non-medical mind and I had plenty of more important issues with Lachlan to worry about and be nervous for, so these minor issues took a back seat)
I spent the night at my hospital and John spent the night with Lachlan at his. The next day I was discharged and went straight to Children's to see Lachlan. It was such a strange experience, scrubbing up, putting on a gown, asking to see your baby, asking to touch him, not being allowed to hold him, seeing him with tubes, IV's, and monitors all over him. Really, it wasn't 'strange' it was just sad.
But oh my word, I loved him. (still do!)
The very next day he had his surgery. Here we are the morning before his surgery

Seeing him afterwards was hard. His little body looked so lifeless. His body was just so limp...

His little tummy...

And swollen little face :(


From then, we were just working on his full recovery, getting him off the ventilator, off the oxygen, off morphine, etc.
Each step was draining, but God was good to us. He gave us strength, gave us friends and family that loved on us and prayed for us and with us.

So much of November was a blur, so my memory isn't clear on all this and the dates and times, but I'm giving it my best for what I do remember....



A couple days after his surgery, Valin gave me a cold. Of course. So I was stuck at home for 2 or 3 days. And while I was sick, Lachlan was finally able to be held...you can imagine my emotions....But I do know that Daddy and Lachlan did some serious bonding those days. And in the days that followed I knew that Lachlan was better off with Dad than me... and I was okay with that. John loved the heck out of him and had the knowledge to actually understand, discuss and monitor Lachlan in ways that I could not.
I did finally get to see him and hold him again :)


The days start to become a bigger blur. We went back and forth from home to hospital, from Valin to Lachlan, never feeling like either one was getting the time and attention they needed from us, but oh-so-very thankful that my mom came and stayed with us for a FULL MONTH to help out. I could. not. have gotten through it without her help.

I need to get in bed, so I'll have to continue more later, but one more part I want to add on this post. This song. Could not get it out of my head his first 2 weeks in the NICU. I'm too lazy to put something on my page to play it, but go find it and listen to it. Then think about listening to those words while going through this... I cried every time I heard it/played it. It talks about God making all things beautiful and how he makes beautiful things out of us... yep, even me... and my baby with down syndrome :)
Beautiful Things by Gungor
go download it, and praise Jesus for His works... and Lachlan's life

So Much to Say...

Wow, so much has happened since my last post....
I will try to start there..
Halloween! We had a great Halloween. We had lunch up at the hospital with the Orthopedic group. (Here is our attempt to get a pic of the lil ones dressed up)



And we spent Halloween evening at a dear friend's house. Valin had a great time emptying out their bowl of candy. Lucky for us, he didn't know the deliciousness inside each of those wrappers and only found them as bright fun toys :)




The next day, I had contractions all day and didn't think a thing about them... until 3 am I decided I should watch the clock on them. HELLO, good thing I did! Around 4 am I showered and woke John up. We made a plan that he should go into work and that I could arrange help for Valin and meet him at the hospital at 8 am. Well, that was the plan until 30 minutes later, when I am throwing my 'hospital bag' together and deciding that waiting 4 hours was probably going to end in a home birth.... not exactly what I wanted!
So I called the greatest friend a girl could ever have, my Sydney, at some crazy 4:30 in the morning to see if she could watch Valin. After she insisted not to wake Valin, and a mere 10 seconds later, she was at my house!
Now, let me tell you what she had going on. Not much really, only MOVING TO LR FROM INDIANA INTO HER NEW HOUSE that very day, not to mention she has a 13 month old. And yet, she was a rockstar. Didn't even flinch, acted like she did this everyday... I am so VERY thankful for her! Here are a few pics from Valin's time with them :)






Anyways, back to the story, so Sydney came over as we were still putting together Valins bag, my bag, baby bag, etc. (I won't tell you that just hours before I was making fun of my sister for packing her hospital bag 'so early'....I guess that's what I get)
And to the hospital we went! I called and woke up the house in North Carolina to alert Mom and the family while we were on our way.
Got to the hospital, checked in, 6 cm! (I rock), got to a room, 8 cm (seriously, proud), experienced REAL pain!!!, finally got my EPIDURAL, all was well, 10 cm, 2-3 quick pushes...and Lachlan arrived :) 6 lbs. 4 oz. & 18.5"

And my 'new' life began...
He was immediately taken from my room.
No hello, kisses, hugs, or see-you-in-a-min waves.
I was not prepared for anything that followed his birth...Daddy man followed the team with Lachlan.


Not sure of his health, we were told he would be transferred to Arkansas Children's Hospital. They brought him to me, and told me I could hold him until the transfer team arrived. And this is how Lachlan looked the first time I saw him :(

Poor baby had been poked and pinched, tube down his throat and IV in his arm. After what seemed like a minute or two, the transfer team arrived and Lachlan was taken from me.

John left quickly after to go to Children's to be with him. Here he is in the NICU, shortly after he arrived.

.......................
I know I am leaving you hanging, but I'll tell the rest of the story asap!
Know he is home now, and we are loving every second of him!

Happy Fall

The Harris household is well underway to some great holidays! Halloween is this weekend and the big boy is going to be a stinkin precious skunk! We call him a 'stinkpot' often, so we thought it would be fitting to go with a skunk. I will take and upload pics....promise :)
I will be full term on Sunday, holy smokes! Be proud, we finally got a crib for Lachlan. It may or may not still be in the back of my car
We had community group at our house last night, so I have a "clean" house today. I love it so much you would think I would do it more often... Speaking of our community group, have I said how much I love ours? It's awesome, every single person in it, I just love it.
I don't really have any pics to share. I guess nothing is going on around here lately. I can't sleep, and its really annoying, but that's about as exciting as it gets. Oh, but I did find out I have another niece on the way! Very excited about that! Being an Aunt is seriously my favorite 'position' ever.
Here is an updated pic and then I am on my way... to the couch ;)

John...dun dun dun

Well, his first year of residency is in full swing. Time and money is hard to come by, while stress and anxiety is at full capacity. It's not horrible, but it's not glamorous, BY ANY MEANS. Time kinda creeps by for the most part, but I'm sure that will change once Lachlan gets here.
We definitely wouldn't have chosen this road, had we known what it would entail.... but that's probably the biggest blessing of all. We are walking this road blindly, but I know God has prepared us both for it, whether or not we realize or feel it.
John is learning a ton and so am I. His is more on a medical level, while mine is more on a life lessons level. Parenting is challenging in a semi-absent father house. It's really challenging to be the encouraging wife, and full time mommy w/o daddy. But it's crazy amazing the amount of strength God's given me. Way beyond anything I could muster. And when John has a day or night off, you can bet we take full advantage of it! Lots of tickling, laughing, Valin playing, and mommy relaxing goes on! John has been so super helpful lately anytime he's home by doing laundry, cleaning, picking up the kitchen, taking care of Valin, even ASKING for a to-do list from me....pretty great eh?
He has a week of vacation coming up mid November, so we are all looking forward and counting down to have 7 WHOLE days of Daddy to ourselves! Here is to 3 weeks vacation time a year for the next 5 years, such a blessing!!!

Let's start with baby brother

I have so much updating to do! Let's start with the new little boy on the way.
He has a name, Lachlan Dane, pronounced like 'lock-lan'. I am almost 36 weeks, so he will be here soon! I am mentally, and emotionally ready, but physically....that's a different story. As of today, one month before my due date, we don't even have a crib for the poor child. I don't even have a good reason why its been put off either! But this weekend is THE weekend. I am bound and determined to get a crib and set up a new nursery!
We are so excited for Lachlan to get here! However, there are a few health concerns for Lachlan, which we won't know the full extent of until he gets here, so prayers for a healthy little boy would be greatly appreciated! We know God has a plan for Lachlan and for our family, and a good plan at that; so we are marching through these last 4 weeks with lots of excitement and joy!
Valin has absolutely no idea what is around the corner for him....But I guess no 15 month old would. I think he will be a super great big brother :)

Today

We went to a great pumpkin farm today, and Valin had a blast! John and I loved it too. I want to comment on all the pics....but I'm too lazy for now.

Quick Trip

We made a VERY quick trip to Collierville, TN this week to see my grandmommy and dad! Valin was... well, his typical for the last 3 days 'semi-miserable' self, but he still had a great time! He got to play with all sorts of fun stuff and spend lots of time outside. And Papaw bought him his first pair of Cowboy Boots and Valin LOVES them! The first time he put them on, he ran around squealing at the store. It was so fun to watch. Thanks Papaw :)